Prometheus Review


SPOILER ALERT!Don’t read on if you don’t want to know the plot or how good or bad I thought it was…

 

Sweden got the World Premiere of Ridley Scott’s movie Prometheus 1 week ahead of the USA. It seems to happen every now and then! I just went to see it, and as usual I get the jitters and kinda see the world anew when the movie is over and I go outside. Happens with most movies for me.

I’ve purposely really only seen the one trailer and nothing else. I think Scott struck gold trusting in Giger, and I looked forward to this.

The movie has flawless special effects, no two ways about that. It also has a few characters among which the android, David, and introduces Elizabeth Shaw – is – the – new – Ripley for what I think will be a trilogy. The others seem strangely undeveloped and you can’t really get them at all. Maybe it’s done on purpose since all but the two mentioned die horribly, but I can’t help comparing to Alien where the cast was brimming with developed characters (that also died).

Certainly if you’re a fan of the Alien series you won’t be disappointed!

Unless you thought, like me, it was so Alien-like as to suggest Scott has run out of new ideas, SERIOUSLY… A chamber full of oozing ‘vases’, everyone wanting to poke their finger in alien goo, a single “evil android” waking up the others, oral penetrations galore, alien pregnancy (though Elizabeth manages to make an abortion in 5 minutes and a shrug of the shoulders)… that’s the first 90 minutes, and it seems Scott crammed all that really seen-before stuff at a once-over pace as I guess a sort of introduction to the Alien future to a new generation. Which sucks for me since I’ve seen the other films, but likely not for those who haven’t.

After this, what I think is the good part starts.

After David the Unfeeling Android got ripped in two (by the neck) by one of the creators of mankind, our ancestors, their plan is revealed (but not their reasons why). Our ancestors planned to leave this planet (with the many homicidal creatures) to infest Earth with germs that would, apparently, make female humans spawn octopuses that grow to 300kg in 3 days without any nutrients lying around. (I know, sometimes you think it’s the filmmaker withholding the plot, not the actual plotters. :D)

As our last ancestor starts his spaceship full of germs heading for earth, the crew of the human spaceship ram it, making it drop onto the two women left of all the crew, the evil woman gets crushed while Elizabeth is somehow saved from 4 million tons of spaceship by a rock outcropping, by about 1.5 inches. She flees to the ejected lifeboat with 2 years’ supply of food etc, only to find that her baby has now become a 300kg monster. Good that, because the ancestor who crashlanded somehow has the presence of mind to kill-every-last-one-for-no-reason and Elizabeth makes them clash, octopus eats Alien.

Or so you think. After the octopus has had its fill, though the Ancestor was orally penetrated like the others, it turns out the human-like form was just an exoskeleton from which an “Alien Alien”-human hybrid emerges and hisses at the 3D camera, flaunting his very own oral penetrator. Basically introducing a brand new trilogy with Noomi Rapace taking the role of “last survivor of the <insert spaceship name here>” female space hero that once belonged to Sigourney Weaver.

This film is about creators of life. While it offers scant sustenance for the intellect and only a few interesting questions at the end to make you wonder what will happen in the next installment, it’s good entertainment for everyone else, but perhaps you need to unsee the Alien saga if you saw it. And you know that can’t be done!

Favorite scene: David getting out of the too-big-for-his-breeches Alien Captain’s seat so one of the Ancestor Ghosts can show him the controls.

Biggest cinema laugh: When Elizabeth put David’s head in a bag for easier carrying to the next alien ship they fly away in, and apologizes for the temporary inconvenience as she zips it up.

Best line: Probably something David said. But strangely, none stand out and the lines seem propellers of the plot as opposed to expressions of motivation.

Favorite character: David. But again, none are stellar here. They really do seem undeveloped, there’s not much background. All are basically superficial and any insights into the inner life only reveals what is already known from the surface, except Elizabeth. It will be interesting to see if she deepens in the sequels. If they have classical educations, their dramatic talent isn’t allowed by Ridley Scott to glimmer forth in this film.

-~-

The bottom line:

Noomi is absolutely gorgeous in this flick, and occasionally scantily clad like Sigourney before her. Any fans like me will not be disappointed, though you might want to ask your spouse to tell you when you can open your eyes when she does her express abortion.

For gore/splatter fans, there is oodles of exploding heads, burning humans, tearing of flesh and breaking of bones to feast on.

For this reason, I would advice every single parent to not allow anyone under 15-18 watch this film on their own, and under 15 under no circumstances. In this movie, about a dozen humans die in horrible, explicit fashion. It is NOT a run-of-the-mill shoot-the-aliens type affair.

The sci-fi buffs that are particular will have quite a few problems with both scientific and indeed internal consistencies. If you watch sci-fi for the sense of wonder and can “let yourself go” for this movie with the appropriate beverage, there are some very high quality special effects to enjoy in this movie, especially at the end.

Young horror fans (and most everyone who hasn’t seen the Alien series!) will get some gasps from this film, judging by the cinema audience :)

My rating is a very personal one, and based on the fact that I’ve seen the Alien series before, and thought even the less stellar ones of those were more enjoyable for me than this. I do need some cool lines and engaging acting in my movies.

Rating: 6/10

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About maximilion

I seek truths and try to make you see them. View all posts by maximilion

3 responses to “Prometheus Review

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